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Mary Ann

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[29 Oct 2005|04:12pm]
fuckin' lives the fuck on!
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People in your life are seasons... [27 Oct 2005|12:27am]
I laughed until I couldn't breathe with Aubrey. I called Kelley "Amish" and questioned her on the contents of her backpack. I accepted my insanity with Camille. I freaked out at Stephanie's foot. I watched the BBC with Adrienne. I was the muse in Sean's life. I gave Jon-Erik a hard time. I was a little sister to Vinh. I wanted to punch Cherry in the face (yes, I said it.) I was protective of my little female role in HM. I stayed at Jenivee's house until 5 o'clock in the morning. I fought with Alex, forgave Alex, drank with Alex, shared with Alex, and caused trouble with Alex. I drove out to Vallejo to hangout with Jason and Nana...and laugh at Alfred. I thought Juan was sexy. I was a Philtered Soul groupie. I went everywhere with Robbie. I had a crush on Paul, then Jay...and they're cousins.
I will crawl in Arlene's bed and ask her to spoon me. I make fun of Dennis for being an e-tard. I laugh until I can't breathe with Dave (COOTIES IS A EUPHEMISM FOR AIDS!) I realized that the 2nd year is when everything just spills out, right Elizon? I love Bernardo for being exquistely gorgeous. I rip new assholes and sing Weezer songs with Mutasim. I'm very protective of my role in 4directions. I don't drink as much as I used to. I quit smoking cigarettes for the 8th time. I work in Satan's asshole. I want to punch Michael in the taint (yes, I said it.) I will have a panic attack if I were ever to see Patrick again. I will try to find the middleground of my past and present.
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secret exposed? [23 Oct 2005|01:22am]

So the secret is out, Elizon has been my main man for over a year now. Happy Anniversary...hubby.
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Running Joke [22 Oct 2005|01:40am]
So it looks like my running joke is: Mary Ann the Legend. Good Lord, I sound so mythical.
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Tu seras celle qui me sauvera? [16 Oct 2005|09:36pm]
Aujourd'hui va être le jour
Où ils te le reprocheront
A présent, tu dois t'être rendue compte
De ce que tu dois faire
Je ne crois pas que qui que ce soit
Ressent la même chose que moi pour toi maintenant

N'écoute pas la rumeur qui court dehors
Comme quoi la flamme au fond de toi s'est éteinte
Je suis sûr que tu as déjà tout entendu
Mais tu n'as jamais eu le moindre doute
Je ne crois pas que qui que ce soit
Ressent la même chose que moi pour toi maintenant

Et les routes qu'on doit parcourir sont sinueuses
Et les lumière qui nous guide nous aveuglent
Il y a tellement de chose que
J'aimerais te dire
Je ne sais pas comment

Parce que peut-être
Tu seras celle qui me sauvera?
Et après tout
Tu es mon mur des merveilles

Aujourd'hui devrait être le jour
Mais ils ne rejetteront rien sur toi
A présent tu devrais quelque peu t'être apperçu
Ce que tu ne dois pas faire
Je ne crois pas que qui que ce soit
Ressent la même chose que moi pour toi maintenant

Et les routes qu'on doit parcourir sont sinueuses
Et les lumière qui nous guide nous aveuglent
Il y a tellement de chose que
J'aimerais te dire
Je ne sais pas comment

j'ai dis peut-être
Tu seras celle qui me sauvera?
Et après tout
Tu es mon mur des merveilles

J'ai dis peut-être
Tu seras celle qui me sauvera?
Et après tout
Tu es mon mur des merveilles

(dammit, I was definitely moded the first time)
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The Core [14 Oct 2005|01:22am]
sushigrl04: my friend found out how to say "bitch, where's my money" in like 8 languages
sushigrl04: *bitch, wheres mah money?!!
-german: schlampa, von ist mein geld?!!
-cantonese: batpo, nah dee chien hai bean doh?!!
-spanish: puta, adonde esta mi dinero?!!
-farsi: jendeh, poolam kojast?!!
-korean: shekki ya, nah dohn udeesuh?!!
-kannada: bhosdi, nanna dhudu yel idu?!!
-portugese: puta, onde esta o meu dinheiro?!!
-swedish: slynan, var är mina pengar?!!
-italian: brutta, dovo sono i miei soldi?!!
-french: salope, où est mon argent?!!
illshowyoupearls: puta, sa'an ang pera ko?

It's still good to know that we're the still goddamn same after not seeing each other...for a very long time.
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American Girl [13 Oct 2005|07:07pm]
Je suis quelqu'un à le recherche de l'amour.
du véritable amour.
Ridicule, qui dérange, qui vous dévore...
du genre
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I've been searching a long time... [12 Oct 2005|02:34am]
You are a bit ridiculous. You tend to dress like a 17 year old on an ambiguous designer high. Your choice of vocabulary is pretentious and condescending - I often wonder if you really know what you're talking about. You borderline oily variety beauhunk with your need to dabble in every business out there. You smoke to look cool and you definitely cannot handle your alcohol...and you're notorious for returning phone calls a week later. But the thing is, I don't care. I like you very much just as you are, even with all the bad elements that are a part of you. The time away has made me realize just how much you mean to me. Boyfriend or not, I don't care. With you around, I'm happy and that's all that really matters.
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Just a Thought [11 Oct 2005|01:58pm]
Today's photo Tuesday. Yes, some photos will be up later, but I had to get this thought into writing: I've realized that the deeper I get into the world of politics, the further I stray from my emotions. Maybe that's why I've been lacking in the artistic expression that I was once so good at.
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The Stagnance of the American Rebel [10 Oct 2005|11:49pm]
The American rebel wants change in our nation. The rebel seeks to expose the darkside of our government to the rest of the world. The rebel calls for anarchy, revolution, and the denouncement of capitalism. Okay?

The rebel does not understand, as he sips on his Starbucks latte, that he is an important piece in our capitalist grid. If you hate money and don't plan on climbing up the proverbial ladder of success, keep preaching, chief. Read More's Utopia for ideas. And while it is a terrible thing that our nation has exploited other countries for their goods, I don't see many of you buying goods that aren't made in China, Morocco, Taiwan. I've accepted the fact that I am a VERY important part of this working grid. You know why? I LIKE MONEY! I LIKE KNOWING THAT I HAVE THE POSSIBILITY OF GETTING THE GOODS OUT THERE FOR CHEAP! Yes, I said it. The rebel hates Bush, but didn't vote. I really believe someone (of age) who did not vote has a right to criticize the candidates. You could have made a difference then...
The rebel is always left-wing, but if you ask if he's a communist, he looks at you with complete shock and disgust.
I envoke J.S Mill - "truth is the middleground to two opposing argument." A brilliant man accepts his own ignorance and seeks to gain a collective understanding of the truths of others. Challenges are a way to a deeper meaning of truths. In order to fully know a "truth", we must know all sides, accept opposing opinions, and answer it. In other words, don't accept one's truth as factual aka Michael whore Moore.

don't ever call me uneducated.
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Writing Schemes [09 Oct 2005|08:37pm]
So my Creative Writing course has proved to me that I must write on daily basis, so I figured that I come up with a sort of a writing setup for the days of the week:
Hater Mondays
Photo Tuesdays
Lovin' Wednesdays
Thinker Tuesdays
Flashback Fridays

Weekends are meant for random, uncategorized thoughts. So have fun reading, you very few readers of mine.
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[07 Oct 2005|09:44am]
I don't go home anymore. My parents called and said they have a surprise for me. I know what it is: Cinderella on DVD. Parents bribing me, ha, it almost worked! They're coming over.
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and I will always think fondly of him as... [01 Oct 2005|07:01pm]
I hate being patronized for being so young. I know that experience is correlated with age, but that is no justification for me to be treated like a child. The most insincere people sugarcoat their truths to me in hopes that it won't hurt as much. I'm 19, not 9, I get it. I may not have been through everything that you've gone through, but that doesn't make me naive. So you don't want to look like a bad guy with your attempts at calling me wonderful, intelligent, etc. Could we not use the filler words, please? God, I wanted to throw up on your bullshit. You know what gives the icing on this humiliating cake? You could have been a man and faced up to me. There are other ways of giving the boot to someone and IT DOES NOT INCLUDE MYSPACE! Hiding behind an email only makes you a pussy in my eyes. Whatever, you wouldn't have served any useful purpose in my life. You were just a filler - no meaning, no life, boring and cliched.

And it will take me this to long to get over it as long as it took him to write that letter:
Okay, I'm done, I'm changing my hair.
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Joyful Girl... [01 Oct 2005|02:13am]
I miss naivete. What happened to the days where satisfaction from the opposite sex consisted of ONLY hand holding? Or the concept of "where are we standing" is firmly established - there's no gray area, no in between. I miss the days where I'd attempt to make a relationship work. I never used to walk away from a fight or an argument. I'd fight for it, let him know how much I cared. What happened to my optimism? When did I become so unbelievably...fearful of a relationship?
My body and soul are no longer one. When I meet someone new, I wait for the end. I stopped caring for what will lead up to the demise - I just expect yet another one to throw in the pile. I guess it's a little easier on the pride that way.
Indifference. The beauty of motherfucking indifference.
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[29 Sep 2005|10:11am]
And I still stand by this: that beezy still needs a good slap to the face. I'm Mary Ann, bitch! HAHAHAHA! (update later, I have class)
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[23 Sep 2005|01:24am]
Je te deteste. Tu es très égoïste et antipathique. Tous les jour, j'envie de casser la gueule tu parce que tu es emmerdant! Tu es un vrai con. JE N'ADORE PAS TU!
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I Know I'm a Sinner but I Can't Say No... [09 Sep 2005|02:06pm]
My beliefs in the opposite sex are based upon a single statement: "the perfect woman is there when you need her and far far away when you don't." Now, I don't know where I came up with that conclusion, but so far that seems to be the case. For a year, I've indulged in the world of hedonism and instant gratification. Somewhere along the line, I've grown accustomed to shutting down my emotions, be a machine, and go with the physical. I knew my place and I definitely knew when to leave (leave with a sense of satisfaction, mind you.) I've had my fun, I've played my games, but it's gotten to the point where I no longer fully appreciate another human being. I've felt no real connection with a person and it's quite disheartening. To me, there's no real sense of meaning, no soul beyond the body: "I get what I want out of you and that's all you'll ever mean to me" kind of attitude. There's no heartbeat against my own, no sparks, nothing at all. It just makes me feel less female...less human.

As the people around me go on and on about how they've fallen in love, I can't help but feel detached from it all. I feel so alienated with the term "love." I blame myself for that one; my choosing of instant physical over emotional stability has left me feeling quite empty.

Of course with the epiphany comes the resolution: I quit. I'm so tired of it all and I just want to feel something real again. Hell, I just want to feel again. It's time to leave this party while I'm still on top. I'm over it. The instant gratification has fulfilled me for a lifetime. Sure, I'll still play the Samantha card: I'm still very open and quite vulgar about everything, I'm just over the whole detached attitude. And you know what, I still don't want a boyfriend...I just want someone to tell me that he wants me and nothing and no one else but me.
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salamat sa iyong suporta [01 Sep 2005|09:31pm]
Tis a proud moment for me to be Filipino. When I'm listening to the new Black Eyed Peas album and dad can tell me that my cousins in the Philippines told him about the American singing songs in Tagalog. Thanks to poppa for translating the parts I don't understand. Fuck Fergie, <3 Apl.
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My life is brilliant. My love is pure... [19 Aug 2005|02:45am]
Brad Pitt and I are one in the same, except I wouldn't leave Jennifer for Angelina. TEAM ANISTON ALL THE WAY! But that's another story that's already been covered.
"There's a sensitivity chip missing." - Jennifer Aniston
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Good use of FUCK right here. [15 Aug 2005|03:18am]
So it looks like I'll be looking for my own apartment this semester. yes, this semester. living situations at the current resident were uhhh skewed and now it looks like I'll be on my own. Holy shit, a week before school starts....
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